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The Break I Didn’t Know I Needed

Hello & welcome back!



It’s been a few weeks since you’ve heard from me last. I decided to take an unplanned break from creating content. I was disappointed in myself because my goal was to complete one consecutive year.


As I sat down the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, trying to suck it up and get it done, I realized not only that I needed a break, I deserved a break.


I didn’t intend it to be quite as long as it was, but when you’re ready, you’re ready.


The truth is, Zach and I have been wanting to start our TTC journey (trying to conceive)since last year. As you may already know, we’ve had to delay it due to my health issues.


In case you don’t:


I was suffering from PAC’s (premature atrial contractions) which isn’t life threatening but my heart was working harder than it should have been. I was also physically tired all the time! I didn’t realize just how much it was effecting my quality of life until a few months after my surgery. While the experience of the surgery wasn’t ideal (I was conscious the whole time) the results were 100% worth it!


A few months after that, just has I was almost completely healed, I had a breast implant burst. In all honesty it felt like Christmas morning!


The truth is I had been wanting to get them removed for a few years but didn’t want to pay or have another surgery unnecessarily... just because it was something I “wanted”. Which was why I got them in the first place. I have nothing against cosmetic surgery, I just found out that breast implants were not for me.


Surgery got scheduled for December 20, 2019 which meant we had to wait a few more cycles before we could start TTC.


After that surgery, we expected a quick and easy 4-6 week recovery. Unfortunately, I had an allergic reaction to the surgical glue they used to seal my incisions. My reaction last from Christmas until the end of March waiting until my body completely absorbed it.


It was so miserable & I spent the whole month of January at home topless with ice packs on my ta-tas & covered with a blanket.


As you all might be aware, a pandemic also struck about this time and I had a few important doctors appointments left to go. I had to have my breast MRI done and the soonest they could get me in was June. Since I was considered high risk for breast cancer, my husband & I continued to put our TTC journey on hold so the doctors could have a baseline picture before any bodily changes would occur in my future.


Unfortunately, in April I also had one more health issue arise that I brushed off for a few months. I began spotting in between cycles. It seemed harmless at first but by the 3rd month, I decided to contact my OBGYN. The soonest they could get me in was August.


Once again delayed.


Long story short, after a few appointments and lots of ultrasounds, they discovered I had a uterine polyp which can cause infertility & may be the source of my painful period episodes I have experienced since my early 20s.


So, in November of 2020 I had another surgery.


The last two years of my medical journey has put a toll on my body and my mentality. I have been suffering from lots of anxiety and at some points depression. Of course I was seeing a doctor for that too.


With all of those doctor visits and surgeries, means money out-of-pocket and more stress. While I’m so thankful that we have great insurance, because I couldn’t imagine what our bills could have been without it, it was been tough because the way my surgery dates fell on the calendar and our renewal. I have reached my deductible 3x in two years.


I’m naturally a positive person & I’m not looking for a pity party, but after that surgery, I realized just how tired I really was.


So, I rested. I focused on getting through only my minimum day to day activities & decided to be okay with that. I celebrated the little wins and let go of what I couldn’t hold space for.


And now, we’ve made it to December of 2020, the year of a pandemic. It’s now December 22nd which means we just got through the longest night of the year, winter solstice.




That’s amazing & if you’re feeling anything like how I was, just know that you are amazing!


Now, each day gets longer and brighter. We are on the upswing. Keep going.


Always,

Erikka


P.S. I read these two articles yesterday that hit home with me during this pandemic. They are worth the read.


Our uncle recently established a high quality, affordable Acupuncture & Chinese medicine clinic in Brooklyn, NY. He also writes a blog & this post is everything. (He’s pictured below on the right)




This article is all about astrology and the new age we are entering. Did you get to see the star of Bethlehem last night? (Saturn & Jupiter entering Aquarius)

Unfortunately, it was too cloudy for us in Ohio.




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